Where's the turning point of a person's life? As a woman who was born and raised in a thick cultural environment, and from being pampered by fairy-tale princesses in beautiful dresses through the ankles, marriage is the answer to the question.
Women, always voiced at marriage. It is as if he was removed from the womb of his parents, flowing with the river of life, to end up at the mouth of marriage.
Let us slow down.
In a thick environment of culture, women are prepared as ideal housewives. Women are required to maintain their virginity so that the price is not deformed, then trained to cook and clean the house so that the selling price is higher, in fact, women are also sent to school so that they can have prices above average.
And even stranger, women are required to have an established job, so he ogled high-status family. Like a merchandise, like that he is treated. As if he was born, educated, raised, only to be submitted to a wedding circle with a proud selling price. That is, at least, I personally feel.
My mother often said. Be a successful woman, so your soul mate is a successful man. It was as if I had been studying hard only to attract great men.
In the school environment too, my friends, since childhood, already have a dream to marry a man they call a prince. Of course because we, most read a happy ending tale symbolized by marriage.
All the sufferings of women seemed to end only if he married the prince, then that was inherent in the minds of my friends as a child. As if there would be no more tears and screams of adults we received when married later. Exactly Cinderella is detached from the clutches of his mother and stepbrother after he married.
As a child, I am not opposed to those two circles. The elderly who prepare their daughter to become a successful man's wife, then convinced that their daughter is happy forever in their daughter-in-law's house until death picks up.
And among my childhood friends who are convinced that if we marry a prince, we can get everything we do not get from parents, will not get angry, and live in a magnificent palace. I do not completely agree with them either. I just have no reason to oppose it.
It was only when it was in adolescence, all my questions about, whether my novel ending or the turning point of my life was a missed marriage. My answer, then, is not.And the more I grow up, the more convinced I am that marriage, not necessarily a happy ending for me. I'm not Cinderella. Maybe other people can have luck at the Cinderella level. But this is my life, so let me think so.
When I was a teenager, then the universe showed me the real figure. That how terrible the future, how horrible the lives of parents, and how haunted a household.
My fear was started by my own parents. The figure that had lulled me into a beautiful marriage, the marriage I was going to take in the future, precisely overturned the future of my future shadow.
How do I see two people who love each other, change to hate each other, keep arguing, even scapegoating children as the cause of the disruption of their relationship. How they created hell, replacing heaven that I think will not collapse.
Broken Home makes children look at marriage as a scary thing.
Then I started looking at the other houses. Through fiction, spectacle, and most of all, is the experience of my labile friends, who are also victims of the inability of parents to keep their household intact. I am increasingly shuddering, knowing there is a more sinister wedding story than my parent's marriage.
Maybe, at that time I was young, still a teenager, immature, and easy to judge marriage as a scary thing.
But when I grew up, when faced with more terrible reality, I also knew that my fears did not change. When I begin to fall in love, and imagine things as beautiful as marriages, everything turns so painful when I feel betrayal. Maybe that's what my mother feels.
That the love of women does not guarantee the love of men gives the same portion. Or, for the man, it might be the opposite. What is clear is that marriage is a frightening thing, when we realize that the two people who originally spit love in the same portion, later can change, become one faithful side of love.
As I grew up, my mother said. Marriage is not something wrong, so love. Only, sometimes, we can not pass the test. It could be because one chose the pair, or the time is up.
I am sure, for newly grown women like me, the problem is due to the wrong pairing. But for the size of my mother, of course the reason is the second. The love for my parents is gone.Later I asked him again, Then what is called a soul mate or love if love can be eroded? My mother did not know. He also did not understand, what kind of man should I look for, so I'm not afraid to live the future with him.
The more I think, the more I find answers, at least for myself. I have to find a man, I am sure, that I will love him, no matter what. When I find it, that's where the turning point of my life is possible.
Although at many points, I am still afraid of marriage, and hope, people who say that women should get married at this age understood, that marriage is not a future that is easily imagined by a child broken home.
And the man must also understand, how great the trauma of a woman who had witnessed, how hurt a mother's heart, and tortured her, by surviving with a man, who did not love her anymore, and she could no longer love her.
Fearing marriage does not mean I will not do it. It's just that, to me, marriage is not a beautiful Cinderella fairy tale, nor a socialite girl's fantasy dreaming of being a lady. Marriage is a matter of love.