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September the ninetieth date should be a new page on my journey of love and you. My waiting for immediate match with you will come true. Seven years we are together. Divide hard and happy together. Sufficient time for us to know each other's character.
There is no doubt in me when asking you to be a friend in my life. I believe you are the end of my adventure. You're the woman I've chosen to be my home home, sharing stories and sharing my pain.
A woman who has been with me for years. Passing through all the trouble I was facing. You accept all the defects and past I have. With you I find comfort. Your motherly figure and your calm nature contrast with my stupid and ignorant attitude. Present you change the way of life I choose. My lifeless flow of direction has almost no direction flowing in unchallenged streams as you enter and bravely interfere in my decision.
You stole my heart with your attitude. You awaken me to stop torturing myself, forgive the past and get out of the shadow of a parent's divorce that makes my life desolate named destruction. I almost fell in a wild circle that kept me from not only God but to people who knew me. Almost just a bad boy predicate victim broken home I received. Almost. If only I had not seen you seven years ago somehow I am now. Maybe I'll be drowning in the black night of the night, out of one discotheque to another discotheque playing with lots of women to vent my loneliness.
You're the woman who mediated me with God. The woman who brought me found the guidance. Slowly I returned to myself that I missed. Learning to accept the circumstances I did not expect. Forgive those who made me have to fall in the pit of darkness. Stop blaming others for what happened to me.
Thank you for all your patience and kindness all along. Thank you for your sincerity. I return your sympathy with a different flavor. I like you. You're the first person who does not see me with a strange look. I look like a messy mess like almost a diterminal palak does not scare you. The different stare I received, not the fear, not the pity nor the hateful gaze. The same look you gave your friends to the people around you, you never thought I was a stranger. You treat me like we have been old friends.
Thanks for never asking about what happened to me. Although I know the curiosity is clearly illustrated from the look on your face. Thanks for holding it. So many thanks in my story for representing gratitude for having you.
It took me a long time to gather the confidence to ask you to be my beloved. It took me a year to approach before I was sure you had the same feelings as me. Thank you for accepting me. If only seven years ago I was able both financially and mentally I might not ask you to be my lover but be my life companion. Long time to know you taught me to be a grown man, that love alone is not enough to build a married life. And I trust your parents will reject me. How can they trust her daughter to release to a man with no job like me.
And for the first time I have a goal in my life. It's the only target in my life, making you a future with you and enjoying old age by your side. Will you wait for me? Until I deserve to be a leader in your life.
Less than three months my waiting will end. The dream of living with you is no longer a sleeping flower. Finally I got to the point worthy of being your companion. Thanks to your parents who trusted me. Thank you for your faithful by my side. I am no longer unemployed many events. Having enough income with a super busy time not infrequently because of my busyness we have to separate thousands of kilometers. Thank you for your support all along for your naively understanding when we did not meet for a long time.
A night I never expected. If only time could be repeated. If only I could keep my gaze. If only I could control myself that night. Maybe nineteen september tomorrow will be a historic day for me. Sorry for my mistake. If only I could control my lust.I just got to know her in a matter of days. We meet on the basis of work. That night was late. The meeting went so tough. Banquet after meeting that we can not avoid. We were all tired that night. One by one my colleague left the restaurant located on the third floor of a hotel. I somehow got into a serious conversation with her, a socialite woman with a knee-length short skirt with a stinging perfume, a woman who played a key role in the project we were developing. The chats we did not realize until we lulled into the wee hours until three o'clock in the morning. And I did not realize I found myself on the bed of a hotel room in the morning. I forgot what happened the night before that in my memory I drank too much wiske, a drink I had never touched. I was more and more jerked when I found I was not alone, there was a woman with a blanket wrapped right beside me. Not the woman I would marry but the woman I just met who accompanied me enjoyed the wiske together.
What happened? What am I doing? Can not I sleep with her? Can not I betray the woman I love?
I woke up leaving the woman beside me. I do not care about the woman who spends the night with me. I'm a runaway loser. I'm ambushed with guilt and guilt.
Forgive me for the sin I have committed. I can not hide it from you. I realize my forgiveness means nothing. The almost finished wedding preparation must finally be stopped. Invitations, building, cathering are all canceled. Your heart is hurt. And I'm the man who hurt him. I accepted your decision to cancel this marriage. I'm not forcing you to forgive me. I do not deserve to be your life companion. Sorry to make you have to bear it all. I have no right to accept your forgiveness. I'm a stupid man who has wasted your sincerity. I will bring this guilt until I die. Tell me how to redeem my sin to you?
I will not judge myself and ruin my life a second time. I may not be able to come back to you. Even to approach you will be difficult. Believe me, you're a kind and gentle girl. You deserve a faithful man who can keep his eyes and his lust. The man who only makes you the only woman he loves ..