"The day has come when I have to let you go, not because I do not love you but I just realized my love for God will bring us sooner or later"
Exactly today I made a very tough decision. Yes, a tough decision for me and for you, I decided on our love affair. But I honestly took this decision because I think this is my best decision.
Not that this decision is because I no longer love you, it's wrong. I love you very much and this is also for your good. Not because of the presence of others, because my heart is not that easy to move. Do not be angry or hurt me at this time, but listen to my reasons first so you know why I like this.
A few days ago there was an uneasy feeling in my heart, it felt like there was something wrong with me, the more it got bigger and it said I had to end the "courtship". I'm not a 'pious' person nor a good person, I just realized that I must be a good person "before it's too late".
Look at the world now, melee everywhere, even many say when the end of the world closer, then does not that mean me, you, we live as end-time humans? What if when I woke up the next morning the sun had risen from the West? How about when I opened my eyes the next morning I met Dajjal or what if I fell asleep tonight then did not wake up again?
Did I guarantee to go to heaven? Have I prepared a charity to go to heaven? Or is it sin that piles up, chains my legs so I can not go to heaven? I do not know, I just feel my charity is not enough to pay a ticket to heaven, pray I was still negligent, reading Al-Quran long I do not read it, other practice? I do not know what I did was piling my world, pursuing my career, I was busy "showing off" and gossiping about my friend. Sin is all that? Of course.
Perhaps you ask, "What teachings from Ustad are you?" or "can hidayah from where are you?" I will answer not from anywhere but Allah is the one who has moved my heart and He is still kind enough to give me permission to repent!
Maybe you ask "Then what to do with you decide me?" yes it is related, very related. Do you realize that what we have done is wrong? Even though your lips are denying your heart but you know that what we are doing is wrong. The dating we do is the same as "ZINA"! Why? Although we do not commit adultery by doing intercourse, at least we have adultery with hearts and little touches that we do. What if we die tomorrow? What answer can I or you give answer about this sin, no is not it? So let's stop it.
Maybe you come back to "why are you just this way now? Why not from the first?", If I had realized from the first I would not want to do this with you, at least I'm still grateful it's not too late. I do not want to add to our sin every day, I want to end it.
Again I end this with you because I love you, because I do not want us to be getting snared into hell and away from heaven. What do I want? Yes I just want to be lawful with you, I can only pray to Him because I realize I'm far from Him. If you do not want us to end up, then let me not with a lot of excuses, not with luxury, just give your dad anything and I will gladly accept it, because I want us both in Jannahnya not in HIS GOD!
"not only by ending with you I'm good, but I'm still learning slowly for the better and this is the true repentance that I do"May I and you even we can get better and realize the mistakes we made before it's too late and we will not repeat it! And if we die tomorrow we can die in a smile.